The Lord works in ways we cannot fathom

MY GOSH..........I"M OVERWHELMED by His Goodness and Greatness and Faithfulness.
I have soooo many things to say that I seriously have no idea where to start from. It's bad starting writing this so late.....I'm never gonna finish writing........

anyways....for those who dunno yet...I've done it. Yes I've done it yes..resigned quit tendered terminated my own service.yes..I'm going to leave my company..for good... If you are reading this, u r probably my good fren and probably have been following thru this whole period of 'decision-making' with me. Throughout this whole process, the presence of the Lord was sooo sooo sooo real. too real that my goose bumps can stand, even just by typing this.

Ok...anyways, I really want to "document" (what an audit term) everything throughout this whole process here cos it truly shows the Lord's hand in this whole 'saga'. WARNING: This is gonna be e longest entry ever.

It all begin...on a fine evening...on Thursday (23rd Feb 2006)...when I made the decision to leave work at 6pm sharp, without bringing home my labtop (which is quite a feat cos I usually bring my lappy home and work from home). I did that on purpose as I really wanted a nite of quietness to seek and listen the Lord. Anywyas, I was supposed to be at church at 7.30 that nite for a saturday service practice. But I left work at 6pm (it only takes 15 mins to get from my client's place at orchard to my church at novena). My intention initially was to go shopping and just buy something I like to cheer and perk myself up. But ALAS! Shopping does not work for my anymore. I found myself roaming the shops without looking much at the beautiful clothes and bags and shoes around me. I found myself praying and talking to the Lord in my heart, " Lord I'm lost. I really need you to take my hand and guide me. I will only listen to YOU."
Anyways, well, I went for practice after that.....and that nite when I went home. I prayed again and again. And the story finally begins.....

Friday morning (24th Feb 2006) - Went to work. First email I saw in the morning,
"I've resigned" Yes. Yet another of my colleague has resigned. Just 2 days back, my teammate Wenhui, resigned. Her resignation has an extremely HUGE impact on me cos not only will it mean much more terrrible and heavier responsibilities , it means that I've lost my peer support in my team. I work with this team like almost 6 months in a year. It's a huge team, with 16 pple. N Jean, another of my peer left last month. So Wenhui's resignation left a huge impact on me. But I tot, "It's ok, at least I still have Jana, although she may not be in my team, she's at least still with the firm." BUT ALAS, she has also tendered that week. I asked the Lord. Really? I should resign?

Friday (24th Feb 2006) during lunch - Wenhui and I went to meet Jean for lunch and during that time, I poured out all my sorrows and complains and...sort of made a decision to leave my firm.
Actually in my heart, something was already prompting and stirring in me to quit. However, I kinda ignored it......It was till I verbalise my thoughts to them that I actually found out that HEy Frances, it seems u have sort of made the decision to leave. And from then many many confirmations flowed in.....continuously for the next 1 week. I'm gonna list them down..one by one.

1) To me the very first thing that kinda hit me was Jana's departure. First 'confirmation' after my prayers on Thursday.

2) I called my mum immmmediately at lunchtime on Friday 24th Feb after I sorta made the decision as what i wrote above. She was very supportive. Say oko okokokokokokok all the way..while i was doing all that talking and Wen and Jean were staring on.

3) Also, Sooting had emailed me about a mission trip to Nepal from 3rd to 13th April which I really really wanted to go. And the dates were perfect. Right after I finish serving my 1 month notice. The timing was perfect. I thought it will be great to do something for the Lord before I start on my 2nd career. And *BAM*, an opportunity was rite at my doorstep.

3) Friday evening: Dad came to fetch me from the train station. I asked him if mum has told him abt my decision. He said yes..and supported me alll the way "since u really dun enjoy what u r doing. Leave. You are young. Many opportunities out there. Don't worry" Also he kinda assured me about the finances of the household and all. Tt was 1 of my greatest fears of leaving without a job. But the Lord took that away that nite.

4) Sat morning 25th Feb:
Met Eunice for breakfast. Shared with her about my decision. She was extremely supportive too and shared how the Lord will take care of things. At the end of our sharing session, I said, well I believe the Lord will open doors for me to get a job.
then Eunice with her grin and strong faith said " Maybe..the LOrd doesn't have a job for u."
I was like.."huh? Didn't u tell me to have faith?"
But she completed her sentence, "Maybe the Lord has a calling for u!!! Like u will stay on to be a missionary after ur Nepal trip"
Haha! I was like AMEN! Anyways, at the end of the conversation, once again I felt the affirmation to leave.

Met May and Michelle for lunch. May said something "If the job is causing u to change negatively, leave." N tt left an impact on me. Cos I know this job has caused me to become a very short tempered person and a grouchy old hag and very sadly, an unhappy person (which is so not me!!).

At service that nite-the Pastor spoke on FAITH and SURRENDERING. Which perfectly spoke right into my heart. He also said "If there are cares in your life that is causing you to change in a no good way, surrender them to the Lord". When I heard that I was like..BINGO, wasn't that sort of what May said in the afternoon? After service that day, I felt that the Lord is saying to me, "Leave your job by faith, surrender everything to me"

After service on the same night - Chatted with some church frens on MSN. Told Na, Leb, Quan, Diya.
Leb was like "I'm very happy for u I dunno why!" and he continued saying cos he tot i needed a break and all. I was pleasantly surprised at what he said. Leb u have really grown up hahahaa!!!
Cos couldn't tell them much over msn, we arranged to meet for lunc after service the next day.

5) Sunday afternoon - 26th Feb
Met my church frens for lunch...was to talk about this with my dearest church buds at lunch but couldn't in the end. Hee..In the end I told Na na how i felt and all and she was supportive of my decision too. Tt again meant a lot to me as having the support from all my family, closest buddies sisters frens is very very important to me.

Sunday night - 26th Feb
Joanna called me out of the blue. (She's my bestest secondary sch fren...and she seldom calls me to chit chat. Usually she calls to ask me out and we will talk face to face) Anyways that nite, she really called me to chit chat, like in the good old days back in school. So well, once she called I rattled on and on....leaving her no room to speak much. A quarter way into the converation, I told her my decision to resign and all..Guess what?
She said "Actually hor, the reason why i called u tonite is "HAVE U RESIGNED?" Tt was the 1st question I wanted to ask but u talk and talk I cannot find any space to ask."

I was stunned. Cos I haven been talking to her much these 2 months and she doesn't know abt my contemplations and all.

Another confirmation to me.

Also during my quiet time, the song 'I Simply live for You' came into my mind. I asked myself. Who am I living for? for Money? Status? Power? no..I live for the LORD You and You alone.
Ezekiel 37: The Valley of Dry Bones. "Nothing is worthy without Christ"
"Cast your cares & burdens unto Me"
All the above spoke right into my fear of leaving. The Lord is saying once again, Put HIm first in your life and your cares will be taken care of.

6) Monday - 27th Feb
This was supposed to be the day that I initially plan to resign. Cos that would mean my last day would be on 24th March. However. I kept having a tingling feeling I should be more responsible and stay till end of March. Cos tts when the audit fieldwork of my client will end.
So well, tot I will delay till 1 March so my last day will be 31st March.

Anyways, I met Raine and Carol that nite. N shared with them everything that had happened in the last 3 days. Again, I felt the peace to leave at the end of the sharing session.


7) Wednesday - 1 March
The day I was supposed to tender.
I messaged Esther that morning, asking her How's Christian and all. And she replied back saying..I've been thinking abt u..abt how to encourage you and all regarding your work. Subsequently over exchanges of smses she encouraged me with something she heard form the Lord "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto me" Wow. That spoke right into my heart.

Later on smses n emails poured in asking abt whether i've thrown in the letter. I was afraid to reply cos I myself was not very sure. A message that impacted me most was from Joan who has been helping me a lot with my job search and all, msg me " DUN LOOK BACK".


But anwyays. I DID NOT tender in the end cos I wavered (see my last blog entry) and i realised tendering today and on Friday doesn't make a diff. My last day is still 31st March. I still have 2 days to seek and confirm and be at peace.....

8) Thursday - 2 March
Met Mags for lunch. Shared with her my intention. And again yet another good fren supporting me all the day to QUIT QUIT QUIT! She was like.." i expect to receive an sms frm u regarding ur quitting ah..." N she said "Look at what Telli did"...Spurred me more........

I smsed Sooting later in the day i think, wanting to ask her if the Nepal trip is confirmed. Cos i told God, well, if the trip is confirmed, i will definitely QUIT!!! Tt will be a sign from You.
However no responses from her.. see why below

My dad also messaged me a lot tt day on not to worry unduly and told me to take this step of faith and resign. Many opporunities blah blah blah.......Thank GOd for such a supportive dad.

9) Friday - 3 March - This is THE DAY tt the Lord hath made! =)
The morning and afternoon was a turmoil........acutally the past 5 days have been.....really bad. But well let's cut the work details out of this picture. Anyways, whaever happened in the morning further add on to my decision to leave.

Before lunch, I had my resignation letters properly folded and placed into nice crisp white envelopes. Placed them in my document bag.
Anyways, I met Joan and Ruz for lunch. Gave me lotsa courage and support and ra ra me on to take this step of courage.
Again, smses flowed in asking whether i've resigned.....Again, I dun dare to answer all the smses.

At 3 plus, I told the Lord again, hmmm..If sooting doesn't reply my sms (ie nepal mission trip may not be confirmed, but actually tts just an excuse in my heart on hindsight, The prompting to leave has been so strong) then maybe i shouldn't quit.
I tried calling her too but her phone was off.... Wanted to call her house but i dun have her new house no.! So I tot, well, maybe the Lord is saying..STAY?

I messaged my mum 'I'm feeling very miserable. I wanna quit." (I've been talking to her about this whole thing for the whole week. But i guess I just need a lot of support from her)
My mum said "Ok. Just send in" Tt 4 words meant a great deal to me.

Anywyas somehow at 4 plus, I felt God saying to me "Your decision to quit should lie in ME not whether sooting is going to reply ur sms and confirm e trip and somehow, the answer seems so clear. Resign"

At 4.45pm. Called my mum one last time, "mummy I'm sending out all my resignation letters to the various parties now". My mum said ok just do it.

As I was throbbing through the alleys in my office, thronging up and down the stairs looking for the various people whom i'm suppose to send in my resignation letter, i felt soooooo nervous (the crisps envelopes were safely hidden in a folder, for fear that everyone will see me handing out white envelopes to the management. I never knew resigning could be so nerve wrecking.

anyways after work, I was on the bus on the way to meet dearies ESSRs when Sooting finally called me!!!!!! N it was then that I found out that her phone has not been with her for since Thursday cos she left the phone in her bible school and was on sick leave so she did nt go back to sch to get it. But God is good. He made me learn to take the step of faith. N after I've taken it, Sooting called. Ha..So cute.

So PEEPs. I've resigned........... FINALLY. AFter a whole week of struggles.........Somehow, I feel the hand of the Lord i holding me up thruout this whole process.......It wasn't easy at all. But the Lord gave me the assurance thru many of His ways.

But hey........tt isn't the end of the story........most happening story yet to come. I only know i have to sleep now.i'ts 4.44am exactly......To be continued